If I had a superpower
I want it to stop myself from thinking
what others are thinking
So that I would not fall short
of goals I had never sought.
And just live my life. Like I want.
And not like what I think they think is my wont.
Near people it’s never quiet
even in silence, I hear voices fight;
personal takes on what is wrong and what is right.
When actually their field of vision are narrower
than a one dimensional line.
Stop! Pause for a breath
Pause into silence and keep it fed.
Take in a lungful of fresh air
And let me, to myself be fair,
without shamelessly being drawn
against others who are individuals of their own.
It’s not teenage angst
I’m not in that age gap anymore.
It is instead a suffocating pillow you snuff
on my face every minute and still expect me to smile in return.
Which my superpower tears to shreds
with an ugly scowl.
Because people are not measured in smiles.
The secret is… you don’t measure them at all.
So I look into their eyes and pity their life
which has twisted them so they can only derive
pleasure from others’ plights
while they pretend their life is alright.
And smile. And pretend. And smile.
In my mind, I have so much to speak
Words like a waterfall gushing out of a creak.
They splash across my mind before I sleep
but never when you stand in front of me.
I am not very talkative to begin with.
The cogwheels in my brain don’t move to many a topic,
maybe just books, art, anime, music.
And to you they seem as unreal as a witch’s tonic.
So when you come stand next to me all expectant,
I try my best but stay as vain as a pendant
wishing to defy the gravity to which it’s nature tends
even as the clasp holding my string of thoughts fragments.
‘Coz in my mind I’ve already said a million words
in makeshift worlds of which you’ve never heard
that convey most of what whirls in my head
even as in the real world I tactfully keep the silence fed.
So you think of me as uncomfortably quiet
While I think you to be suitably notified.
But if you could only read thoughts, we might have a tryst
Heedless of the words that stay, just in my mind.